Given the kind of investment it takes to cultivate a successful relationship, it’s no wonder that matchmaking practices are found in cultures all over the world, including here in Singapore. Even today, locals who are serious about finding a good match may visit one of the modern matchmaking services Singapore singles sign up for.
While it may seem that matchmakers are simply securing dates for eligible singles, the truth is they do far more than that. What modern matchmakers offer is certainty and transparency—something that you may not have access to if you play the field by yourself. Choosing the right matchmaker can keep you from wasting your time, money, and emotional energy on dead-end relationships.
Whether or not you choose to employ a matchmaker, it’s always good to know if you’re likely to hit it off with your date. Below are 10 green flags that show your date might be a good match:
1. You Have Similar Values
Similar views on politics, religion, ethics, marriage, finances, living arrangements, children, pets, and other important topics are a major green flag. Depending on who you are, having the same values may or may not be a deal breaker. However, having the same values usually predicts a lack of friction, which often means a smooth sailing relationship.
While it may arguably be a faux pas to dwell on heavy topics on a first date, if you and your date listen to each other—as you should—your values should become clear to each other. Laughing and reacting similarly to the same things is often a dead giveaway that you share a few things in common.
2. Mutual Physical Attraction
No matter what anyone says, physical attractiveness counts. Unless you’re asexual, most people’s identities are at least partly anchored by who they are physically attracted to.
While you and your date don’t have to be conventionally attractive, it does help if you are attracted to each other in a physical sense. Being mutually physically attracted to each other can help you and your date see past trivial differences, ultimately strengthening the potential of your match.
3. You’re Dating for Similar Reasons
Some people go on dates to play the field while others date to find a stable long-term relationship. Others may have different reasons for dating altogether.
These reasons can sometimes be diametrically opposed to each other, potentially leading to unnecessary conflict and disappointment. If you and your date are going out for the same reasons, you’re already leagues ahead of many other matches out there.
4. They Respect Your Boundaries
Many of us cannot help but have red lines that shouldn’t be crossed. Even when you have similar values, interests, and goals with your date, that is no guarantee that they will respect you in ways that actually matter. A date that respects your boundaries is probably well worth following up on.
5. You Put Each Other at Ease
It’s normal and probably wise to be somewhat guarded, especially on a first date. That said, a good match will probably make you consider letting your guard down a bit.
If you put each other at ease during your first meeting, that is clearly a good sign and a major green flag. Proceeding with a follow-up date may not be such a bad idea.
6. You Can Communicate Well with Each Other
We’re not necessarily talking about language here, though that does play a part. The ability to understand each other well, even when some things are left unspoken, can take out much of the work out of building a relationship.
If you and your date just immediately pick up on whatever the other is saying, it may be a sign of a good match. Just note that this does not absolve you from having to adjust and communicate properly.
7. They Make You Stop Thinking about Your Exes
Though some comparisons with exes are inevitable, a date who makes you quit thinking about your exes when you’re with them is a definite plus. If you’re able to put your full focus on them instead of an old flame, it means that there must be something good about your match.
8. You’re Not Too Similar
While it certainly helps to be similar to your date, having a few minor differences can keep things from being boring. These differences may also serve as an opportunity for you to grow or see other perspectives.
9. They’re Not Constantly Distracted
If your date is constantly on their phone or not listening to you, then they had better tick off all the boxes on this list. While it’s true that short attention spans are just part and parcel of modern life, the inability to focus on a first date is often a strong indicator of disinterest or disrespect.
On the other hand, a date that is showing their keen interest will not be as likely to be glued to their phone or anything else. If they’re giving you the kind of attention one deserves on a first date, then that’s a very good sign.
10. You Each Hold Your Own in a Conversation
Power dynamics always play a role in every relationship whether it’s professional, familial, or romantic. If one party dominates most conversations, it may be because of a lack of empathy, a dominating personality, or because they’re nervous. In any case, there may be something there that needs to be addressed.
If you got back as much as you gave in your date, it may be a sign that you and your match have favourable power dynamics at play. This may mean that you see each other as equals, which is a definite green flag for matches in the 21st century.
Find Your Match the Easy Way
With enough effort, you can make almost any match work. That said, having a good match right from the beginning is usually the far better way to go.
Singaporeans are nothing if not pragmatic. Matchmakers can help save time, prevent early misunderstandings, and help frame relationships in a transparent manner. For these reasons, matchmaking services in the country will likely endure for many decades to come.
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